… I haven’t blogged in a LOOOOONGG while. About food, at least. Despite what I’ve said before about catching up on my backlog on posts..
To say that I have simply been busy and had no time for it, would be rather inaccurate. It started out that way some time last year when I got bogged down with writing my thesis and being sporty and social, then going back to Singapore and taking a stint in a kitchen, meeting family and friends before coming back to Sydney, graduating, going on my grad trip.. I would say time is something I really have quite a bit of lately, something I actually wish I had less of, as it might mean I have actually been employed.. Yes, I am officially on the job hunt, have been for a little while now, and it’s been depressing trying to get something suitable. Would be good to have an income, yes..
So why I haven’t been spending all that time working on my foodblog? Well, I think it started with the simplest of things, such as actually taking nice photos of the food I was eating, and editing to a point where I was satisfied. I ate out a LOT last year, but there came a point where the lighting was far too dim, my camera posed limitations (No money for extra expense on camera equipment), and trying to salvage them using good photo-editing software still resulted in less-than-lovely pictures, if you know what I mean. Looking around the blogosphere, I felt tired, and too embarrassed to proceed after a little while. Plus, I’ve always been less patient than my sister with tucking in. Yeh, not shy about that, not at all..
But it felt sad as well, to give it up completely. It hit me a little while back, and I wondered, why did I let myself get stressed out about what people might think? Sure, to put it out there is certainly for people to read what you have to say, see what you have to show, but seriously, I was just stopping myself. I still feel a lot for food, cooking, eating, produce, all of that. I worried about living up to the high standard of blogs out there, those who have created niches for themselves, but… I don’t know. I just want to throw it all away for now, and just see what happens.
I won’t be apologising or making promises. Because it’s always too much pressure, and I tend to procastinate even more when I feel its presence. (Hm, rather revealing about how I have been as a student……) But I hope this means something more for the blog.